Skin care is a sacred and beautiful ritual. It’s cleaner than human sacrifice and less scandalous than Catholicism. But like all religions/cults, there are a few rules one has to follow in order to receive God’s/the gods’ stamp of approval. The Pear and Ivy team, being experts in skin care, have devised ten simple commandments you can follow in order to get divine skin (just like us). After all, there is no point in buying expensive makeup if you’ve got lousy skin. Would an artist paint a portrait on a shitty canvas?
Thou shalt not leave the house without wearing sunscreen
Flared jeans, butterfly hair clips, and colour-coordinated tracksuits have, at some stage in human history, been trendy and fashionable, but the one thing that will never come into fashion is skin cancer and premature ageing. I personally don’t leave the house unless I’m wearing SPF 50 on my face, neck and chest, and I wish I’d started doing this earlier in my life.
TIP: Zoë Foster-Blake (our skincare guru and girl crush) says that “your face stops at your boobs.” So when applying your daily sunscreen (or any moisturiser and serum, really) always put some on your neck and all the way down to your Vikings.
Thou shalt not use products with microbeads
Microbeads are plastic beads that are commonly found in toothpaste, shower gels, and many facial exfoliants and body scrubs. They’re really bad for the oceans as they’re non-biodegradable and small marine animals eat the beads. Quit using these evil scrubs and start using products that are more eco-friendly (such as the gorgeous coffee body scrubs from Frank Body or anything from LUSH). You could even try using a chemical exfoliant if you really want to smooth away those pesky dead skin cells.
This commandment also includes not using any skin care products or cosmetics that have been tested on animals. Studies have shown that people who care for the welfare of animals have better skin than people who don’t.
Thou shalt always cleanse thy face before sleeping
Even if you have to use makeup wipes, don’t go to bed without cleansing your face! If you’ve worn makeup and/or sunscreen during the day, you need to cleanse. If you’ve been breaking a sweat, you definitely need to cleanse your face. If you’ve been in the city, where the air is full of carbon monoxide and germs, you need to cleanse. Heck, if you’ve been living inside a plastic bubble for 35 years, you still need to cleanse!
Thou shalt not use coconut oil as a facial moisturiser
Coconut oil is a comedogenic product. In layman’s terms, it’s a product that clogs up your pores. It’s a truth universally acknowledged that clogged pores lead to blackheads and pimples, so why use something that does more harm than good? Go and invest in a non-comedogenic facial moisturiser and put the coconut oil in the bin.
Thou shalt not touch thy face
Incessantly touching your face during the day spreads germs onto places like your chin and cheeks. Germs clog your pores, which leads to pimples! To avoid spreading germs from your hands to your face, just don’t touch it!
Also, thou shalt not squeeze or pick at your zits. I picked at my zits and blackheads when I was younger, and that was a bad move. The little pockmarks and scars on my face will be with me forever. LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES AND DO NOT PICK YOUR GODDAMN PIMPLES.
Thou shalt not smoke
Nothing ruins your body quite like smoking: your risk of developing cancer increases, your breathing becomes shitty, your teeth go yellow and your clothes smell like an ashtray. And on top of all that, your skin suffers dryness and premature ageing. It’s not a good look to have dry, aged skin. If you need any motivation to quit smoking, go to Google Images and search ‘what Brigitte Bardot looks like now.’ You’ll never light up a durry again.
Thou shalt change thy pillowcase regularly
Even though you’ve been a good boy/girl and you’ve been cleansing your face every night, your pillowcase still accumulates dirt, sebum and various nasties. Yup, your hair transmits oils, dandruff, hair spray and dry shampoo onto your pillow. By sleeping on dirty pillows, your pores can be clogged, which leads to zits. One way to say good night to zits is by changing your pillow case every 2-3 days.
Keeping your clothes clean also really works for shaking off body pimples. A dirty old bra can give you a surprising amount of unwanted bacne.
Thou shalt tan responsibly
The healthiest way to get a tan is by faking it. Trying to get the real deal will result in premature ageing or skin cancer. A natural, golden glow isn’t worth your life.
Thou shalt acknowledge if thy diet sucks
Let’s face it, we are what we eat. Even though acne isn’t directly caused by the packets of Tim Tams you scoff, the appearance of your skin is still influenced by what goes into your mouth. If you don’t drink enough water, your skin will reflect it by being dull and dry. And if you eat like a vegan, your personality will reflect your transformation into a lettuce junkie with glowing skin.
Thou shalt use products that suit thy skin type
When you know your skin type (combination, oily, dry, ageing) it’s easier to figure out the skincare products that will suit you. And if you use products that suit your skin type, your skin will thank you by being healthy looking and magical.
After all, a wise person once said “We all have different skin types. We all react differently to certain products. Your friend might have normal skin and is using a product best suited to people of that skin type. You might have oily skin, and your Random Magic Serum might be too harsh for your friend. Figure out your skin type and look for products that will work for your skin type.” That wise person was known as Pear and Ivy.
Other cheeky tips that almost made it into our Ten Commandments include ‘thou shalt not share thy makeup with other people, thou shalt not wear makeup every day, and thou shalt follow Pear and Ivy on Facebook and Instagram.’ By following us on social media and sharing our posts with everyone you know, your skin will instantly look 150% better than what it does now. Pinky promise.
Pear and Ivy xx